the plug

Well, it is time. Time for weaning Miss Katie off her plug addiction. This is no overnight project, but we are definitely making some progress. Today we present an Ode to the Plug. Above you will see the plug in Katie's preferred position. She was quite particular about having the handle pressed up under her nose for some reason. Ours is not to reason why.

Here is an example of favored plug activity - the super spin. She started doing this, apparently without really thinking about it. She just hangs out or even walks around, spinning her plug. Silly monkey.

I find interesting the objects that Katie has found for comfort. She is a blanket kid, a doll girl, and a plug kid. Stereotypical choices, all three. In the car she likes to have a book handy - that's my girl! We cannot leave the house many times unless she has all these four items. She didn't have this behavior modeled directly for her, but I suppose that we did teach it to her. Crying girlfriend - give her the plug. Time for bed - here's your blanket and your dolly. Her choice of the ugliest doll on earth as her favorite is her own contribution to the story.

Lately she has a new favorite: her 'I love Aunt Mag' t-shirt. Given the choice of what to wear, that's the first thing to come out of her mouth. 'Aunt Mag shirt!' Today she had to carry it around for a while, saying 'I like Aunt Mag shirt.' Sweet girl. I'd say it's a good replacement for her beloved plug.

adversity and example

I recently went to another funeral. This funeral was one of the most uplifting meetings I've probably ever attended. Not that there wasn't crying - this was a funeral. Most of the crying was not being done by the family, but by the others in attendance.

The funeral was for a woman who died after a 25 year struggle with Parkinson's disease and rheumatoid arthritis. A number of things really struck me. In no particular order:

This woman planned her own funeral. She had been on the verge of death for a number of years. Her primary hope for her funeral was that it not be about her, but that through her funeral at least one person in the audience could become closer to Jesus Christ. That's how she lived her life, and that seems to be how she wanted to be remembered. This got me thinking about my own life, mostly in a positive as opposed to morbid way. What would I want my own funeral to be like? Not that I am even close to being ready to go. Which got me thinking some more . . . Not that many people want to die, but more often than not the timing of things is not their choice. What do I have left undone? Where should I be spending a little more time?

A number of comments were made about her illness, and how she chose to not let it define her. It's a horrible disease - two horrible diseases - and they both struck her quite young. She said that given the opportunity, she would not have changed the course of her life. She would not have chosen to be healed from her diseases. Being ill forced her/allowed her to do things that she would not have taken the time to do, and blessed her family in ways that they would not have been blessed had she been healthy her entire life. This got me thinking about my own adversities in life. Now, grant you, they are nothing compared to this. But with the benefit of hindsight - which is to say, at the time things were occurring I did NOT say HOORAY! I'M GROWING - I think I can say that I wouldn't change anything about my life. The things I learned through not so delightful times has shaped who I am. I wouldn't be the same person without those experiences, good or bad. Hopefully I've learned what I needed to from them so they don't have to be repeated, and I can experience new and different forms of 'torture' in the future. :)

One of her sons told of how when he was young, he remembers running all over the house yelling 'MOM' as he searching for his mother. He'd often find her kneeling by her bedside, praying. She never yelled at him to knock it off and leave her alone, but she also did not acknowledge that he was there until she had finished. This got me thinking about the example that I set for my kiddos, as well as the example my parents set for me. I don't think I have ever heard my father say an unkind word about anyone. He has certainly gotten testy at times - he is still human! - but he's never ripped on anyone. My mom never had to teach us about service, it's just what you do. Someone needs something, you help them out. I was trying to count how many 'strays' we took in to the 'Reese youth hostel' and I lost count at around 10. I'm sure I'm forgetting many. Thanks mom and dad for all you taught me by doing, instead of preaching. I hope that I can set the right pattern for my own kids.

happy thanksgiving!

Hey Tommy, Julie, Mag and Kalle, David, Pam, Katharine and Griffin, and the rest of you all that couldn't - or chose NOT to! - make it back to Colorado for Turkey Day this year. Here are the pies for this year's feasting. From the left, we have apple with a crumbly topping; 'chocolate mania' - chocolate/butter crust, almost flour-less chocolate brownie topped with cream cheese mixture, swirled with more chocolate; key lime; peach custard; mini-blueberries; pumpkin; and mini-pumpkin and key lime. The key limes went to my pie helper on the right. The apple went to some of our tenants, who have taken it upon themselves to refinish the kitchen cabinets. They are crazy indeed, and trying to bring that kitchen into the current century is worth more than a pie, but right now that's all we can do!

Sorry we don't get to break crust with you all on this day of gluttony and lounging about. I'm thankful for you all, far and wide, and we'll just have to make more pies when you're close enough to enjoy them! Of course, we will skip the pumpkin, since mom is the only one that wants eat that one anyways!

Just for a chuckle, here is a picture of a girl who really wanted to go swimming. She kept asking me for days, and then found her swim suit and took it upon herself to show me how serious she was. She originally tried to get her arms in the suit with her sweater on, but was unsuccessful. The rest she managed all on her own!

trip to CA

Alex and Katie have finally made it to northern California! Lizard was flying out to visit Mag in Mountain View, and she had a layover in Colorado. We jumped on the flight and borrowed her lap for one of the wee ones. I don't know that it was the relaxing vacation she was originally intending, but we had a lot of fun! We flew out on Halloween, but little Miss Katie wasn't in the mood to be a leopard. Alexander is still willing to do things my way most of the time.

Thursday Liz and Mag went to the spa and got massages. I got to kick it with my entourage. That night we visited Aunt Amy and Grandma Dorothy out in Danville at Amy's house. Sometime during the week Aunt Mag found Alex's second tooth!

Friday we dragged Kalle with us to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Katie was most excited about the sharks and the octopus - they currently have a great white shark that they are rehabilitating to release back to the ocean. The otters were also a big hit.

(not my photo) Saturday we headed over to Berkeley for some Zachary's pizza, tie-dye for Lizzy, and some strolls down memory lane for Kat. We parked near my old apartment, just down the street from People's Park - which is still full of homeless people - and walked up Telegraph to the campus. It was fun to stroll around campus a little bit. It really is a fun campus - lots of open grassy fields - but boy had I forgotten about the steep slope from the top to the bottom! The view of the bay from the Lawrence Hall of Science is still fantastic. Too bad I couldn't remember which building up the hill I used to work in. I guess some information starts to leave after 20 years!

Sunday we drove up the coast to the beach at El Granada, in honor of Dave and Pam's bunch. Once we got set up, the fog totally rolled in and froze us out. This did not stop Katie from playing, or Alex from giving Aunt Mag lots of kisses! If we had just continued on to Montara or Linda Mar we would have had nothing but sunshine the whole time! After the beach we went and had dinner with Aunt Mary in Pacifica, and had some girly spa treatments with her. The herbal hand scrub was amazing!

(not my photo) Monday we headed across the Golden Gate Bridge to Muir Woods. We would have hit the beach again if it hadn't been totally foggy. The redwoods were gorgeous - a 600 year old tree had fallen a few weeks ago, so they're in the process of rerouting the walking path a little. Katie enjoyed running around, although she wasn't too keen on wearing a sweat shirt. Her purple fingers are on view in the photo album of the kiddos. Driving back across the bridge, I MAY have ran the toll. The sign said 'carpools - no toll'; we were definitely driving with more than 3 people, but I just paused and then zipped right through. We'll see if a ticket shows up in the mail! Mag and I were laughing so hard afterwards that I missed the exit for 19th Ave/Highway 1. We ended up taking 101 home. Guess I was a little cooked after our week of playing!
We flew out at the crack of dawn Tuesday. So sad to say goodbye to our North-America-based aunties! When we got home, Katie slept for about 6 hours, and would have slept longer if I hadn't woken her up for some dinner! Thanks Mag and Kalle for giving up your bed for us, and thanks Lizard for letting us come along on your trip! We didn't get to really chat much with the little people running around, but we had a great time. Hopefully we didn't totally wear out our welcome and we'll be able to invite ourselves over again soon!

environmental pondering

A post from another blog - lowercase numbers: the link is just over to your right - challenged folks to try to walk a little instead of just hopping in the car. My knee jerk reaction was 'Yeah right, tree-hugger boy. Easy for you to say. Try that idea with small children!' But honestly. How much harder is it to strap the wee ones into a stroller instead of into their car seats? Who doesn't need the sunshine? And how about getting myself moving a little more often? What better excuse than doing my small part to save the planet?

That challenge - thank you Mr. Pulsipher, and sorry, I don't remember how long ago it was offered, but it has indeed been a while - got me thinking about small things I can actually do to use less energy - fossil fuel kind or non-renewable, that is. It would actually not be so bad if I expended more energy. So now, if it's a minor grocery run, we walk it. This also has the benefit of actually only buying what is on my list, instead of everything that looks good. One benefit of where we live in Wrongmont is that we are just one block off of Main St. - easy access to many fine eateries such as Good Times, Chipotle, and Three Margaritas, as well as fine shopping Murdoch's Ranch Supply and, my childhood favorite, BigK. We even took a stroll over to the monster Wallmart before our trip out West - even though I HATE Wallmart, the walkability of it won over hopping in the car and going to Target. Insanity. It's a whole new Kat! The car trip that we've cut out that struck me as the silliest was to the park. There's a pretty good park about a mile away, which we used to drive to most of the time. Let's hurry up and drive to go play! That's just funny to me. Half of the fun is the getting there. And if we actually get to wait for a train, it's like Christmas morning for little Katie!

Other painless changes:

• Switching out incandescent bulbs to CFLs as they need changing. A little pricey at first, but they should pay for themselves in no time.
• Hanging a few loads of laundry out on the line instead of using the dryer. I admit I'm not ready for crunchy, scratchy towels, but I actually like the feel and smell of sheets that have dried outside BETTER than ones dried in the dryer. Bounce tries hard to recreate that smell, but nature wins on that one.
• Garden/canning adventures. We are not self-sufficient over here . . . yet. But we're practicing. With Roger 'McGyver' working his magic on the watering system and grow boxes, we're getting a pretty good little garden going. I just need to figure out how to keep the poachers out of my blackberries! There are a fair number of man hours involved in the canning process, but in a couple of days I canned 20 quarts of apple juice and 42 pints of apple sauce, all with fruit from a tree that we do little in the way of taking care of. The grapevine that we don't even water yielded approximately 25 quarts of juice as well. And my cost, outside of sweat? A trip to Boulder to borrow all the equipment from my mom! :)Since I'm not ready to grow EVERYTHING we eat yet, buying locally-grown produce and making more things from scratch are relatively painless changes too.
• We've (by 'we' I of course mean Rog) started to install low-flow toilets, experimenting with our place first. Jacuzzi makes a nice one that actually works well - the American Standard did not have adequate power for our needs, shall we say. The city pays $50 for the old toilet, and we easily saved $20 off our water bill with just one toilet changed out.

Just some musings. Once again, I've been surprised at what actually paying attention to things in my little world shows me. Bottled water has been making me shake my head lately. Buy a Nalgene bottle and a water filter if you really need one! Why so much plastic?! Guess a little Berkeley rubbed off on me after all!

the magic of cash

You know those ads for visa, where everyone is happily swiping their credit cards until the whole works comes to a screeching halt when one customer whips out some of the green stuff to pay? This is one actual case of truth in advertising.

Rog and I have been trying a new experiment. For our personal discretionary spending money we've switched to a cash only system. We've only been doing it for a month, and it has already made quite an impact. I was laughing about it last night in Target. I was looking to replace something, and there was a choice between two options - one of which cost only $2 more than the other. In the old days, I would have grabbed the more expensive one without even thinking about it, because it MIGHT be more useful. Instead I actually stopped and THOUGHT about it, and went with the least expensive one, because it really was exactly what I needed.

It's interesting to me how quickly my usage of money has changed. Over the past three years our spending style has really evolved. We've gone from not really paying attention at all and just buying what we wanted - which worked because neither of us is TOO ridiculously extravagant, if you don't count pinball machines and the shiny sparkly things that Kat likes - to this new cash operating system. Now we actually think about what we're doing with the green stuff: Do I really need it? Do I REALLY want it?

Mostly it makes me laugh at all of the stuff that we used to consume without even thinking about it. That 1 second moment of thought makes a huge difference. In one month I've already spent over $100 less than usual - and that includes some treats for Katie for our plane ride to party with Mag and Lizard! The grocery bill has magically gone down too, even though that good time still goes on MasterCard. Somehow the cash mentality has filtered into my subconscious and changed the plastic habit a tad without me even thinking about it. Craziness. This just means I'll have more moolah to play with at Christmas!

the power of words

I only had 20 minutes for my lesson on Sunday - well, I TOOK 20, when I probably actually had 15 - and some of that limited time had to be spent on clarifying 'not repressing things' vs. 'changing your perspective,' so I wanted a re-do. I just wish that I had been able to drive home the main idea a little better - with a few more minutes it could have happened. So just for my own brain, here it is, informally outlined.

The lesson was based on the talk The Tongue of Angels by Elder Holland.

The power of words: 'It is by words . . . [that] every being works when he works by faith.'
God SAID, 'Let there be light: and there was light.'
There was a comment about how our words can actually be a reflection of the 'state' of our faith; i.e., positive words coming from us, positive direction of faith at the time.

Chance for perfection: 'For in many things we offend all. [But] if any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.' James 3:2.
It's interesting to me how the same words can have such a different effect on people. I read this and saw hope: here is one thing I actually could be perfected in. Someone else I know read this and thought: here is one more way for me to fail.

Elder Holland addresses four groups of interactions: husbands to wives, gals to everyone, the way we speak to children, and the way we speak to ourselves. I focused on the way we speak to ourselves.

Without thinking about it - just write the first things that pop into your head - complete the sentence: 'I am ___________________.'

Look around the room and take note of all the things that are brown. Now close your eyes. Tell me everything in this room that is yellow. We see what we are looking for - what our attention is primed for.

At different times for me I might complete the above sentence with any of the following:

• I'm tired
• I'm crabby
• I'm doing great
• I'm progressing
• I'm fat
• I'm happy
• I'm sad

I've noticed that if I dwell on the 'I'm tired' - come on! Who isn't? - then I really am truly tired all day. But if I choose to focus my attention on something else, I don't tend to FEEL tired all day long. I have a friend who really doesn't enjoy being pregnant. Whenever we'd talk while I happened to be in that state, she'd say 'Don't you just hate being pregnant. I'm so glad it's you and not me!' I can think of worse states to be in - I am not necessarily at my best when I'm prego - Rog will be happy to concur - but I can think of plenty of worse states to be in. Focusing on the downsides just makes me FEEL worse than it actually is. (This is where we went off into the weeds - the comment was 'If I'm crabby, I think I should just say ''I'm crabby'' and be ok to go with it for a while.' So I tried to make the distinction between NOT ignoring/repressing how you feel but trying to change your perspective on it. What I SHOULD have said was that once you've identified something perhaps not so positive, what can you do to change it? With the tired example, do you perhaps need to practice saying NO so that you don't exhaust yourself? What can you do to rejuvenate yourself so that you actually aren't as tired? If this means cutting out a few hours of tv at night, or saying 'no' sometimes, or taking a walk, DO IT. I get a little tired of always identifying problems but not solutions.)

'In all of this, I suppose it goes without saying that negative speaking so often flows from negative thinking, including negative thinking about ourselves. We see our own faults, we speak - or at least think - critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything.' (Elder Holland)

Elder Orson F. Whitney: 'The spirit of the gospel is optimistic.'

The challenge: look at your list of 'I am _________.' Identify if they are even true statements. You are surely NOT the biggest jerk in the world. Replace the negative ones with something that IS true. And if it is true and you don't like it, what are you going to do about it. Try starting off the day with 'I AM good enough, I AM progressing, I AM blessed,' and see if that makes a difference in how you see the world around you. Does this 'small' - not always so EASY to execute - action change your day?