NOW i think i'm ready

A friend of mine has been having a freak out, because after a number of LAME-O boyfriends she's finally dating a great guy, so naturally this freaks her out. Things are going too well, and after years of WANTING to not be dating anymore, the possibility of the next 'phase' of life starting - 'losing independent Kris' (in her mind, she doesn't know yet that you DON'T) - is freaking her out.

I totally relate to this. Rog and I dated for a few years, during which time I often thought WHEN are we going to decide this once and for all? We're going to get married, so what is going on here? Then, when we actually sat down and started working on 'the terms' of our engagement - some people are romantic, others are more logical - I completely freaked and put 'go ring shopping' on hold for a while. That little list item just made things TOO real. Irrational? Maybe. Freak out? Oh yes.

So now that I'm 38 weeks along and seriously look like I'm ready to burst - at least that's what all the kind people I run into everywhere say, verbally or just with their large saucer-sized eyeballs jumping out of their heads - I've been experiencing the freak out. Torn between ready to be done being pregnant, and NOT ready for the process that involves. I'm not so concerned about not sleeping - I'm not usually a huge sleeper, and since Roger's genes dominate and these collaborations of ours start out GIGANTIC (the first two munchkins slept decently - 4-5 hours or so - from the beginning) - I'm banking on this kiddo being equally large, and equally tired from trying to maneuver that massive noggin' he or she is surely sporting. Katie will also probably score many of her dream days of just watching movies back to back to back. At least one child will get to experience her current idea of heaven. If I just let Alex take all the knobs off the amplifier and climb on everything he can see, that number will rise to two.

I think the real cause of the freak out is THE LIST that has been still swimming around in my brain. Which is so close to completion, that now I think it's time for running that marathon or whatever magic works to get this party started. I could still read Colin Powell - and REALLY get fired up about the current lack of leadership that seems to be a defining characteristic of politics these days - but that one can also wait, and I'll be OK.

LIST ITEMS CHECKED OFF LAST WEEK:

Loaded bookshelves. Art, church, biographies, WWII/European history, travel treasures (the maid has resolved to pick up a Swiffer at least once every 6 months). Ahhhh. Looking like we live here again. The amazing Rog finished the doors, so the painter COULD still prime and paint and then it would be totally done, but thankfully the neurosis doesn't run that deep. I will live if I don't get to them for a while.

Food. One pot of marinara, one cooked chicken, a vat of cheese sauce and two days later there are 11 aluminum squares full of pasta dishes in my freezer. Hopefully we will be in the mood. The stuffed shells with cheese sauce is sounding good right now. And if not, Papa Murphy's is just a couple blocks away, and I could probably alternate between the veggie and Mediterranean DElite pizzas every day and be quite satisfied.

Finished Alex' 'first year' book. Digital is so the way to go. On this item, the neurosis ALMOST won. I made the book on Snapfish, because they were 40% off (still are until 9/15). And then looked again - after cursing the lack of layout choices - at Shutterfly, and reconnected with an old friend. Shutterfly rocks for this particular photo project. Tons of layout, background and edge choices. They have decent promotions - just check on Google - and a couple bucks off through 9/24, but even if they didn't it is still the way to go. A MILLION times better. No hyperbole here.

Tiny kimono sweater. Thank you mag and your latest obsession Ravelry.com. This bad boy is now officially done. The new kid will have ONE non-hand-me-down. Had I not almost yakked coming down the mountains it would have been done sooner. (Note for Kat: I still really want that Bavarian hand-carved mirror at the antique store at the top of the hill, I just don't want to pay $800 for it. Go to Germany and find my own. THAT will save me some dough.) I'm not sure on the ties - the pattern used red, but that wasn't working for me. Using the same green just seemed too boring. The sweater and the photo book were really dueling it out there for a few days, but they both ended up coming out on top.

(My Bavarian princess on Sunday, since I got all nostalgic for Germany after checking out that antique shop.)


Batteries. Camera/recorder charged and ready to go. I guess now I can pack for that 10 minute drive.

All I have left to do is dye the gray, so I can keep up my facade of being 25. ;)


Here's a picture of the hardanger for Betsy. Finished size: 13.5 x 29. The linen is something crazy like 30 threads/inch. Might even be smaller.

And by the way: Roger is ready for totally obsessed Kat to take a sabbatical.